A lot of people look for Mr. Right. The perfect gentleman.
But many people don’t know who he is or how to find him. Some say that a gentleman is the man that looks at you from the end of a bar and looks pretty good after a few drinks. He gives you a nice conversation, compliments you on the way you look, pays for your drinks, drives you home (even though he’s drunk himself), and then rapes you. No, that’s not it.
Others say that a gentleman is the guy that always does the right things. He can look right, talk right, think right, even be right. But is a gentleman a man who does everything right and can’t have any faults? Even though he tries to have everyone be like him? No, that still isn’t it. Or is he the man that you see across the room. The one that treats you right, says sweet nothings in your ear, and can show you a great time? But while he isn’t with you, he’s with another woman and one day he makes the mistake of saying her name instead of yours? Nope, that’s WAY off.
Or is he the popular jock in school. the one who knows how to have a wild time, can show you great places, and be danm good looking in a tux at prom. The guy everyone knows and loves. The popular man that everyone likes, but while he may be loved by everyone else, he still treats the people who look like geeks and are smart like trash and insults them for no reason other than they are small and weak and that he is big and strong. No. That can’t be it. Or is he that rich kid. The one that has everything he could want. The one with the nice computer, the cool car, the best clothes, the sweetest house, and the most beautiful girlfriend. Even though he may be nice, he still thinks he’s better than anyone because he has friends that love him only for his money. And once he gets into the real world and finds out that money isn’t really everything, he’ll lose those friends. Nah, it can’t be that.
But maybe, just maybe, it’s that lonely guy at the dark end of the room. The one that few people truly know. The guy that always reads and tries to take care of himself and make himself look good even while bettering his mind. The person that spends all that time in the library just to study and does the actual work for the teacher. The person that never tries to bother other people because he’s scared that if he does he’ll become their new “plaything” and they will hurt him all the time.
The one with few people he can call friends, and even then they treat him badly. But while he may be the guy that everyone picks on and hates, he still has that small hope that one day he’ll be someone great. He also has that sense of honor, that honour code that makes him refuse money from strangers just because he was complaining about his money problems. That kindness that he shows everyone who needs it, young or old. That love for children who are nice and care for others. That smile that shows that he’s harmless but can still protect those he cares about. That shoulder he offers for people to cry on, that ear to complain to, and a mouth for comfort and advice. That sense of romance that can make a woman swoon with love and makes them love him for it. That sense of loyalty that when you finally find out who he is and you are kind to him for a while, he finally opens up and trusts you with his innermost secrets. That sense of faithfulness that when he falls in love with a woman, regardless of their beauty, their popularity, their money, or how good they are, that he will always remain with her no matter who makes passes at him.
That sense of humor, that when he knows you’re feeling sad and depressed, he can always make you laugh and scare away the darkness from a child’s mind. That sense of intelligence, that when he sees something interesting, he wants to understand it and learn how to do it. He will always want to learn something, no matter how hard it may be for him, he will still persist at it. That sense of beauty, that no matter who it is, they are still beautiful to him, regardless if its on the inside or the outside and he can always see a smile in the person that can’t smile, a laugh in the person who can’t giggle, kindness in a person who hates everyone, and a great person in a person no one likes.
And lastly, that sense of respect and humility, when he can admit he’s wrong, has a fault and has done a wrong or two in the past, that he knows when he needs help with something, and that he treasures what friends he has, even if they are small in number.
Yes, that is what a gentleman is.
That is who people are looking for when people look for a gentleman. But when people may find him, they may not know it’s him because he may be ugly to their standards. He may even be in the least likely place that people would look for him. He may be the one that is stupid or mentally disabled or have an incurable disease that will haunt him for the rest of his life. He may be the man on the street that everyone passes by but always pities. But when you find him, stay with him no matter what. Because when you find him, he may be the last of his kind. A wandering modern-day samurai with his own code of honour that even he doesn’t understand. That is the one people look for, that is what a gentleman is.